Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What is life?

James 4:13,14 state, "Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

There are times that come in go in life when Scripture takes on a whole new meaning.  Growing up in a Christian home, I have always been in church to be trained from the Word of God.  Throughout school and Bible college and ministry, I have probably heard hundreds of messages on this passage at camps and youth rallies and revivals and more.  On April 10th, no one was preaching, but God was definitely speaking.

The morning started so quietly.  Dan and I got up and ate breakfast.  We enjoyed our last morning alone for the spring break week.  Our girls had been with my parents since Wednesday.  Dan and I had worked in the garden and done some other projects around the house as well as spend some quality quiet moments together.  It was Saturday now, and time to meet my parents at our favorite stomping grounds "Bass Pro Shops."  Oh the anticipation was great.  Dan and I were eager to purchase our new fishing rods and so many others must haves for our upcoming tournament.  Plus, I love walking around as my dad always shows us a few neat things.

We arrived to Bass Pro a few minutes ahead of my family.  My mom had text me when they last stopped.  I figured the family should arrive about twenty minutes after us.  Dan and I went to look at all the stuff we had been waiting to buy.  Then, we began to look at our watches.  We knew the family would arrive any minute.  We strategically placed ourselves in the fishing section so that the girls and Mom and Dad would see us.  We just kept waiting for that delightful cry of "Daddy, Mommy".  You know when the kids are so excited to see you!  Dan's cell phone rang.  He didn't recognize the number, but we both had one of those it would be good to answer it gut feelings.

It was that phone call.  You know, the one that as a parent you never ever get!  "Sir, I have your daughters, and they have been in an accident."  I saw Dan's facial expression change instantly.  I knew something was wrong.  He was way to bent on understanding every word.  Then he mouthed, "ACCIDENT!" We were calm through the first sentence.  The second one had Dan bolting for the door, unpurchased sunglasses in hand.  I followed to hear him say, "But is everyone out?"  What... did he just ask if everyone is out.  Then it hit me.  Why is my dad or mom not calling me?  Why is this perfect stranger who Dan struggled to understand calling.  I play back through my broken understanding of this phone call frequently.  I remember something about fire, but all were out.   Then he talked to Abby.  I could hear her cries, but I couldn't understand her words.  Something about Mom and Dad... It was Dan asking if Mom and Dad were out and ok.  I heard the panic in her voice as she cried out.. "I DON"T KNOW! They won't let us see them."  Ok, Ok,, reminder to breathe.  Dan got back on the phone with the original lady to find out they were a mere mile and half from the Bass Pro exit.  Only a mile and half!!!  Dan drove like mad.  I remember he said we are on the way, and hung up.  We prayed and tried so hard to be strong. I remember seeing the speedometer hit at least 90.  We had to loop around an exit to get in the North bound lane.  It was the longest two red lights of my life.  I could see three fire engines, two ambulances... lots of people.

We pulled up.  I could see my parents laying on the grass as six paramedics surrounded them. My feet were touching the ground before the car stopped.  I had no clue where Dan was behind me, but I had to move.  I had to go to them.  I got there, but they wouldn't let me talk to them.  The lady medic was so kind.  I remember trying to hold back the tears as I assessed the damages.  Mom had her eyes closed.  I could see a nasty cut on her left foot.  Otherwise I was pleased.  Dad had a gaping gash across his knew.  I heard him cry out as they moved him on the back board, and I saw the wincing of his eyes.  He was hurting.  Could he move his legs?  Mom had no shoes.  Dad had his sandals still.  The medic... "Ma'am.. ma'am.. your parents are conscious." Phew, mom's eyes closed and calmness was of her own volition.  Wait a minute... what does conscious mean.. "Ma'am that's all I can tell you.  Let us do our job.  Let's find your girls!"  At that point Dan was near by.  Somehow I was still ahead of him.  It seemed like eternity passed.  "C'mon, honey let's get the girls."  We headed toward this circle of people.

I hear "MOMMY!" "DADDY!" with a bit of a shriek to it.  It was beautiful.  It was Sarah, and somehow she had managed to break free from the people and ran to me.  I swung her around, held her out, and said..Wow.. you aren't hurt.  I remember her saying, "but Granddaddy is."  I looked back toward my parents.  A stretcher followed by another was heading from a nearby ambulance.  The circle opened, and there were my other two beauties.  Blood!  Lot's of blood on Bek's face and Abby's legs.  I remember the feeling of this isn't happening.  The medics were telling Dan that they had gotten most of the glass out.  "Let's head to the ambulance to check them out more completely."  There we no obvious breaks, and it didn't appear there would be any internal injuries.  All just seemed to be superficial cuts.

As we got to the ambulance, I asked where they were planning to take my parents.  It was hard to not go with my parents to the hospital.  Since the girls were not critical, they were originally heading to another closer hospital.  Thankfully, the medics conferred and decided that they should all go to the same hospital.  Thank the Lord.  There was so much going on all at once.  The medics asking medical record questions, the state trooper needing the information pertinent to the accident, and I watched them roll my parents to the ambulance and drive away. I had so wanted to ride with them.  I was glad that they took them both in the same ambulance.  I couldn't bear to think that they were alone!  Yet, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my girls alone.

The paramedics decided that the girls needed to go by ambulance rather than releasing them to us to take to the ER.  Dan was going to follow the ambulance and I was to ride up front with the driver.  As I was climbing into the ambulance, the driver came around to where I was and said, "This isn't going to work.  You are going to have to ride in the back."  The girls went into a panic when they realized they were going to be without one of us.  It was an interesting trip for sure.

When we got to the ER, I just assumed that we would all be nearby.  I could easily go from Dad to Mom to girls.  NOPE.   CMC has a pediatric ER and an adult ER.  They were three halls apart.  Once we got the girls into a room to wait for the doctor, I went on my search for Mom and Dad.  Only, I couldn't just go see them.  I had to check in and then they had to evaluate the condition to see if I could see them.  At the time, they were both on another floor getting CT scans.  The rep was so kind.  She said that they had been together this whole time, and she would come the peds ER to get me as soon as I could see them.

The representative kept her word. She came to the girl's ER room to find me.  Abby was having her stitches put in, and due to her bruising, she had to have an abdominal ultrasound.  Once the doctor left and the girls were released, I headed back to the ER.  It had been almost two hours from the time the accident happened til I got to see my parents.  Dad was still in a trauma room, and Mom had been moved to the hallway to await an open room. Dad was hurting so much, and Mom seemed to be doing really well.  The nurses encouraged a brief visit in the ER for the girls.  She felt after the trauma they had all been through they needed to know everyone was OK.  The doctor came in and spoke with me.  He stated that since it was such a traumatic impact for the body Mom and Dad would have to stay in observation over night.  Dad had to go to a separate floor then Mom because he had to have his heart rate monitored as well.

By this point, I had already talked to my youngest brother several times.  He was on his way, and then I had to make the rest of the phone calls.  I was such an emotional wreck.  I had to call my Dad's parents.  It was the hardest call I have ever had to make.  I was so thankful to be able to tell them that they were going to be all right. 

Mom was badly bruised from top to bottom, but praise the Lord there were no breaks or internal bleeding.  Dad had two breaks in his back.  Thankfully, they were the transverse processes.  Unfortunately, there was nothing the doctor could do for them except let them heal over time.  The most unfortunate thing was Mom was on the eleventh floor and Dad was on the third.  My brother and I made many trips up and down in a 24 hour period. 

I was so thankful that Dan and the girls were all close by.  It was a long 24 hour period, but the doctors finally released my parents.  My brother headed to SC, and we headed back home.  I was going home to pack and say a goodbye to my family to head to my parents until they were up and around again.  It was so very hard to say goodbye to them all.  I was able to spend a week with my folks.  It was great to see them progressing each day.  As the time came for me to head home, my desire to be with my family was great, but the dread of walking away from folks was high.  I can't put into words the emotion that comes with knowing my family was spared.  To hear the wrecker driver say people don't walk away from that.  To hear the doctors say your parents were lucky.  It was a miracle.  I was so close to losing all but my husband, and in just one quick second. I had no control over any of it.  Tears flowed.  Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of all that could have been...It took me two weeks to not get teary everytime I spoke with my parents or sent my kids off to school.  It was a huge gut check.  What would I have done if the outcome would have been different?  Where would my faith have been then?  Would I have the faith to move on?  It is amazing to me the grace God gives in each difficulty.  He never leaves the same.  He is always seeking to grow us, to mature us, to increase our faith. 

After three weeks, my parents are doing so well.  We just made a recent visit with the family.  It was so good to see them moving around so freely.  My brother and I joked a few weeks earlier about how slowly they moved around.  Walkers and canes were a sign of the years to come. 

My point in all of this is I still have two parents and three beautiful daughters.  I saw the car, and I saw where it had been and the damage left behind.  I was unprepared for what I saw.  In my most human thoughts, I know that my family should not be alive.  I am so thankful to have God who protects and cares for His own.  There is no doubt in my mind that God sovereignly controlled each area of this accident.  His hand of protection is every where.  More than just having my family, I realized how truly brief life is.  It is truly a vapor. I was so focused on having my fun and the day planned ahead that I never really thought about the what if"s.  The Lord is the giver and the taker just as Job learned.  I am so thankful that my family wasn't required of me that day.  It has truly changed how I view my life and my life spent with my family and my view of my faith.  We take so much for granted and put so little concern for God's plan in each detail.  Goodbyes are different, and priorities change easily.  I am so thankful that I was able to learn a lesson and still do some thing about it!  Don't take life for granted.  It is passes too quickly.  Hold the little things dear and seek God's plan in each and every moment. 

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh, Amy, I can't even begin to imagine what you must have went through esp in those initial moments. I was crying reading your account and hearing all the emotions you were going through.
So glad everyone is okay! What day was this?? You know our school (Northside) is at exit 41 and CM is at 49!

Ellen said...

I never posted before because I was simply speechless and blubbering through my tears after reading it before... Just came on again and skimmed it this time - still teary. I just praise God for His watchcare over your family and take the warning to heart that we so often take things for granted and have our priorities skewed. I love ya 2tmab and I pray everyone is still recouperating emotionally and physically.